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Carole
Bilateral total mastectomies with silicone implants Age 44 at diagnosis (1984) Age 57 in photo (1997)
I had a lumpectomy at the end of August, 1984, which was diagnosed as
hyperplasia (excessive growth of cells). After consulting with my
family physician and two surgeons I decided to proceed with bilateral
mastectomies to avoid any further breast disease and the risk of
cancer. In October, 1984, I had the mastectomy surgery and breast
reconstruction with silicone implants.
When I had my lumpectomy a hematoma (collection of blood in the tissue)
and infection resulted at the surgical site. The wound had to be
reopened and drained. This was both painful and repulsive (smelly,
gross stuff came out of the wound and hot compresses had to be applied
over several days).
Certainly, I did not want to be in the position of having to have
repeated lumpectomies, which one of the surgeons felt was a distinct
possibility. I also did not want to be in the position of fearing I
would miss finding a lump and that breast cancer could develop. It
seemed at the time that having my breasts removed would be the best
course of action--it would take away all the fear and anxiety. During
this time my husband and I were already having marriage counseling. He
did not provide any emotional support for me, and my only child still
at home was my then 16-year-old daughter. She was too young to confide
in with my fears, and I was very alone with my thoughts and my
decisions. My husband and I finally divorced in 1986.
Initially, the implants were very noticeable to me--every time I moved
I could feel them in my chest. I was aware that my own breasts were
gone and that I had plastic breasts. I believed I looked okay, but my
brain didn't seem willing to allow for plastic replacement parts. It
was six or more months before I "forgot" the presence of something
foreign in my body. In 1985--just one year after my initial implant
surgery--I had to have my left breast implant repositioned, since it
had shifted significantly to the left and was interfering with my arm
movements. In 1986, because
of further difficulties with the left implant, I had the original
implant removed and replaced. In 1991, due to continuing difficulties
with scar tissue, capsular contraction and hardening of the implants, I
had surgery to remove and replace both implants. Each surgery put me
through the same mental and physical discomforts as the first surgery
had. Each surgery required a
lengthy period of getting over feeling the implants every time I moved.
And, after each surgery, I felt like I had lost my original breast all
over again. I wish that, during my original presurgical discussion with
the surgeon, I had paid closer attention to "the fine print" words.
Certainly, he must have reviewed the potential complications of implant
surgery with me at that time, although I have no clear recollection of
that. I had an allergic
reaction immediately after the first surgery, which caused my entire
upper torso to break out in an itchy, burning rash. About two months
after the initial surgery my left breast implant began to shift
seriously to the left. It was nearly impossible to shave my armpits due
to the deep indentations under my arms resulting from the breast
removal. There was significant buildup of scar tissue underneath the
incision sites and across the pectoral muscles.
During the postsurgical healing process body tissue forms around the
implants. This is normal and expected; it helps hold and keep the
implant in place--the implant becomes encapsulated. Unfortunately, in
35 to 50 percent of patients severe scarring occurs and can cause the
affected implant to feel quite firm to the touch. It can also cause
physical discomfort when the pectoral muscles are flexed, stretched or
contracted in any way. This is what happened to me, which is why I had
so many additional surgeries.
My last surgery in 1991 did little to correct the scarring and the
firmness of the breast implants I have today. Additionally, my right
breast implant has migrated upward about an inch, while the left
implant has again shifted slightly to the left. These disappointments
are not so noticeable when I have my clothes on, but I am not happy
with my naked self. I am
happy to have taken away the fear of recurring lumpectomies and breast
cancer. However, the silicone breast implant controversy causes me
varying degrees of stress from time to time, although I choose to
believe that any present physical complaints I have are related to my
age rather than my breast implants. I am not sure what decision I would
have made about breast reconstruction with the knowledge I have today,
but I am certain that mastectomy was the right decision for my
continuing emotional well being, regardless.
The most important thing to remember when you are making choices is to
choose the action which makes you feel most comfortable. Carole: Bilateral total mastectomies with silicone implants  [Click on images to enlarge]
This breast cancer survivor is one of 30 women included in the book Show
Me: A Photo Collection of Breast Cancer Survivors' Lumpectomies,
Mastectomies, Breast Reconstructions and Thoughts on Body Image. For more information on the Show Me book, click here. |
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